Remembering

 

Remembering...to recall to the mind with effort; to retain in the memory; to keep someone in mind as worthy of consideration or recognition.  Today, all I do is remember.  One year ago today, I received the phone call that I never wanted to receive...my Grandpa had died unexpectedly.

 

I will never forget that day nor the minutes and hours that followed.  The desperation of wanting that moment to be just a dream...this wasn't really happening to me.  My Grandpa was perfectly healthy last weekend when I saw him.  This is just a really mean joke.

 

Denial...the refusal to grant the truth to a statement; a refusal to accept or believe something.  This wasn't happening to me.  Stacy and I had just been talking how we were going to go and visit Grandpa the next day.  We were still going, but now it wasn't to visit, it was to remember.

 

I have never experienced a loss like the loss of my Grandpa.  I cried myself to sleep that night and Laramie stayed up all night to make sure I was ok.  I would wake up thinking that life was fine and then it would all flood back in to my memory and the tears would come rushing back.  All Laramie could do was just hold me.

 

My Grandpa was a great man!  He was a kind, loving, generous, ambitious, and warm-hearted man.  He loved the Yankees and his John Deere tractors.  He will be remembered by many today because of his warm spirit and love for life.

 

 

Grandpa, I love you so much and miss you even more.  You always knew how to bring a smile to my face and joy to my heart.  You had a passion and love for life that can't be topped by anyone.  I owe so much to you and all the lessons that you have taught me.  Thank you for everything.  You mean the world to me and I miss you everyday.  I know that every morning that I get up, you are looking down on me saying, "Good Morning" with a big smile on your face.

 

 

Love you Gramps!